The Rules of the Bed
by Black-Cl0thed-Angel
Summary: AxelXRoxas humor/fluff. Roxas needs a place to sleep, where he's not going to be driven nuts, dressed up like a doll by or scarrd for life, so he bunks with Axel. The next morning Axel explains a funny list that the two create and what happens in between.


HOLY FUDGESICKLES AFTER SO LONG I'VE FINALLY POSTED SOMETHING!  
I know- about bloody time right? I'm sorry I'm a million times sorry. Just when i was about to start writing again i got offered a job and between that and school and when i DID have free time i was too tired too write anything seriously and then some stuff happened...and i got writers block for a while and had to focus on school...  
and yeah. basically that's my excuse. Again I am sorry. TwT  
lol this was inspired by a funny icon i found on photobucket. It was originally supposed to be just crack but turned into fluff...O.O It's crack fluff.  
I do not own Kingdom hearts or anything Square Enix related. The characters belong to they're respected creaters, I'm just stealing them for the story.  
There's a little bit of swearing and yaoi (Boy love) if ur not comfortable with that then go to some other account.  
Please enjoy!

_The Rules of the Bed: _

_"YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?"_ Marluxia and Xemnas's voices roared as an overly cheerful Axel sipped his third cup of coffee. They're combined voices rang through the Organization's hideout,shaking the very foundations to the core. The pink hared, flower-loving man's jaw hung wide open as he stared at the red head sitting across from him. Xemnas had dropped his fork and was staring with wide eyes. His mouth also wide open. The bookworm was immediately regretting asking what he'd asked. Why had he bothered to ask how Axel's night was? He didn't need to know...THAT this early this time of day. Or any time any day for that matter.

"Dude, are you both trying to catch flies or something?" Axel asked as he reached for a piece of toast and lathered butter and strawberry jam on it before munching happily.

"How...when...?" Marluxia asked. "Last night. Demyx wouldn't shut up or stop playing that freaking ugly ass instrument of his, so by nine Roxas was in Larxene's room, but she wanted to play "doll" with him or something, so the little guy ran for his life like any man would and went too Xigy's room, but Xigy and Ansem were already "bunking together" Axel winked at that, waggling his eyebrows as he took another bite of toast. When he'd chewed and swallowed he continued, "Obviously there was no room for him there, so he came to my room."

"And you slept with him." Marluxia said, this time disapprovingly. Xemnas was glaring daggers. Probably thinking of a dozen ways to kill Axel discreetly without alerting a certain spiky haired blonde to his friend's disappearance. "Axel how could you?" Axel rolled his eyes. "I slept with him. I didn't SLEEP with him. There's a difference. Get it memorized. And you two perverts are the one's who asked. Jeez, and everyone thinks I'm the insane one of our little group." Xemnas and Marluxia looked at each other. "And all through the night we came up with some fun rules for the bedroom too." Axel added mischievously as he pulled out a folded piece of paper and slid it across the table to them. "Since we're not the first new roommates to start the first night off bad, Roxas and I figured we should share this with everyone." Sweat formed on Xemnas's brow and he bit his lip to keep from smiling or laughing, Marluxia's lips twitched faintly. Marluxia reached across and took the slightly crumpled folded paper and opened it. On it were ten hastily scribbled rules in both Roxas's and Axel's handwriting.

1. Rule number one: No Drooling...

"...el...xel..." The red head groaned as he turned and rolled over onto his stomach, trying to drown out the voice that was waking him up from a long-anticipated nap. Still, whoever was calling his name was shaking him...how annoying. "Xel...Axel!" He turned slightly, his eyes opened halfway as the blurred image of Roxas came into view. "What?" He asked groggily.

"Axel, you were drooling all over me and my pillow." Roxas said disgustedly. Axel pulled himself up and touched one of the pillows, indeed. It was quite wet. He brushed his fingers across his lips to find that there was a wetness on and around his mouth. "Woops. Sorry Roxas." He offered Roxas a new pillow that had been under the one he'd been laying on. The blonde nodded, accepting the apology and the new -drool free- pillow. "It's fine. Go back to sleep." "Yeah." the Red head said, turning over and quickly going back too sleep...

Rule number two: No Snoring...

A short while later, Axel was woken up again by a strange sound coming from right by his ear. Roxas was snoring. Loudly. "Sonofa...Hey, Roxas!" He shook the boy awake. "Quit snoring. You're waking me up with that foghorn you've got going." the boy groaned and mumbled a "Sorry."

Later on...Axel was woken up again. Roxas was still snoring. Axel shook him awake again and told him the same thing. Roxas again apologized and they both went back to sleep.

But later, Axel was once again woken up. By Roxas's snoring. Axel's eyes narrowed dangerously this time as he quietly picked up his pillow and placed it over Roxas's head. The snores became choked muffles as he pressed down.

"No. More. Snoring!" He yelled as Roxas flailed under the gigantic pillow.

Rule number three: No Twitching...

Later, after several punches and apologies had been exchanged for the snores (And Axel almost suffocating Roxas to death via pillow) they had both managed to go back to sleep. But about one thirty, Roxas was woken up this time. By something twitching on his stomach. Roxas immediately freaked out and jumped out of the bed, calling his keyblade to his hand and examining the scene. Axel was sprawled out on his back. His limbs splayed out, one hand behind his back, his legs sprawled out comically...the other hand...Roxas tentatively poked the little lump under the blankets he had been previously sleeping under. It twitched. He poked it again. This time Axel's entire body twitched. And again. And again. Axel woke up then to find Roxas hovering over him, a dark dark aura around the younger boy and a murderous glint in his eyes as he was poking his hand with the keyblade.

"Dude, Roxas! _**WHAT THE HELL?**_"

Rule number four: No kicking...

They both finally managed to calm down. Axel had been assured that as long as he would stop twitching, Roxas wouldn't run him through, and Axel promised he wouldn't twitch again. Mostly for his own sake. About ten minutes after they had managed to fall asleep, Axel in a lighter sleep than Roxas, he was still freaked out by Roxas's face from earlier, and Roxas in a dead-sleep from being so tired because he'd also been woken up so many times that night.

But then, the kicking started. Axel felt something hard and bony kick his shin. He was hit again higher up on his leg. When he'd turned over to yell at Roxas he'd had the pleasure of being kicked...somewhere no man should be kicked in his own bed. He moaned and rolled off his side of the bed in agony as he hit the floor and assumed the fetal position. Roxas snuggled deeper into the blankets and slept on...

Rule number five: No pillow stealing...

Roxas woke up with a yelp about two-fourty five as his head hit the wooden headboard. He sat up, rubbing his head in pain as he looked for where his pillow had gone. He didn't have too look far. In his sleep, Axel's hand had snaked over and grabbed it, pulling it out from under the boy's tender head. Now both the red-head's hands were wrapped around it in a tight hug. Usually, he would have found the scene cute. If he hadn't been the one who hit his head on the headboard because said red-head had stolen his pillow from him in his sleep. Roxas scowled and forced the still sleeping Axel to relinquish his death-like grip on his pillow, making a mental note to yell at him for that when they got up in the morning.

Rule number six: No blanket hogging...

About Three fifteen AM, Axel woke up shivering, his body literally cold to the bone. His feet felt like solid blocks of ice. No wonder, he was shirtless and he didn't have any blankets. Wait- _**WHAT? **_He looked at his bed mate to find Roxas sleeping soundly, a small smile on his face as he was rolled up like a caterpillar or a Roxas Burrito-_ in all of Axel's precious blankets. _

Axel Growled as he tried and tried to wake Roxas up or yank the covers off of him and back to his side of the bed..._.but neither would the kid or the blankets would budge. _

Rule number seven: No sleep talking...

"Mmmm...yes that one...right there..." Roxas heard as he woke up again. He flicked on the lamp and glanced at the alarm clock. Four fifteen AM. WTF? He glanced over at Axel. He was drooling and twitching again, his hands held up and out as if he were reaching for something compulsively. His mouth was open in a greedy smile as drool spilled out the side of his lips. "Yes...I want that one...yellow chocobo...right there...maid outfit...so cute...I want iiiiit..." Roxas was immediately disturbed and tempted to poke holes into his ears with a Q-tip and gouge his eyes out with the closest spork he could find at the site of the sleep-talking Axel. He flicked off the light and huddled onto the far end of his side of the bed...getting as FAR AWAY from Axel and putting as much space between them as he could get without actually falling off the bed. The last thing he wondered before managing to fall into an uneasy-sleep AGAIN was "What the _**hell**_ is a Chocobo?"

8. Rule number eight: No sleep _**walking**_...

A little while later, It was Axel's turn to be woken up again. He thought he had heard...the refrigerator door opening? He glanced over to where Roxas was sleeping- or HAD been sleeping, to find his "room mate" had vacated his end of the bed. "huh." He rolled over and shut his eyes, intending to go back to sleep. Until the soft pad-pad-pad of feet came back into the room and a "lick" sound could be heard. The feet stopped by his face, and a drop of something cold and sticky dripped onto his nose.

Axel wiped his nose off, disgustedly, and flicked the light switch on to see Roxas with one of his favorite Sea-salt ice cream bars standing over him, but the funny thing was was that his eyes were closed as he ate it. "Roxas?" he asked. Roxas did not respond. Instead he stood there, eating his Ice cream. Axel watched him. _Is he sleepwalking?_ He wondered. This thought was answered when Roxas, still eating his ice cream, mumbled something...a name...and walked towards the window. When he got there he dropped the ice cream on the floor, something Roxas would _**NEVER **_do on purpose if he was awake, and opened the window.

Axel jumped out of bed the moment he realized that the sleep-walking Roxas was actually going to try and CLIMB out the window. "Roxas!" he called to his friend, panic stricken. They were on the seventh floor of the hideout, and it was a pretty damn big place. If Roxas were to go out the window, onto the narrow little sparrow's perch, and if he were too slip...there would be a pancake Roxas next morning. Axel raced as fast as he could and slammed the window shut with one hand, locking it. Then he pulled Roxas away and dragged him back to the bed. Roxas was awoken by the feeling of Axel's death-like grip on him. "Axel- stop! What are you doing?" He asked as Axel pinned him down, breathing heavily. They're faces just inches apart. "Saving your ass." He snarled as he got up. "You don't remember?" Roxas shook his head.

"Wha-" "Don't ask. I'll tell you in the morning." Roxas looked like he was going to protest further- he'd woken up with Axel _on top of him_ after all, right then he was thinking that if he needed saving from anyone it was Axel the pervert. Axel walked over and hugged him. "A-Axel?" "I'm sorry. You had me so scared. Just go to sleep Roxas. Please." Axel begged as he got up and went to the kitchen to get a cloth or something to clean up the ice cream on the floor. Roxas, not wanting to start another argument, and partly in shock that Axel had hugged him, sat there. When he saw what his friend was cleaning up it clicked in his mind. "Did I- was I sleep walking?" he asked as Axel looked up. "Yeah. Shit- why didn't you tell me you sleep walked? I woulda grabbed a collar or a bell or something..." Roxas blushed. "Sorry Axel. It only happens once in a while." Axel smiled at him. "Well next time I'm tieing you down." Roxas blushed, and he saw Axel blush at what he said. The tall red head quickly got up with the paper towls and ice cream and went to dispose of them in the kitchen. Roxas snuggled back down into the covers, embarrassed and ashamed of how he'd made his friend worry about him. Before long he felt Axel climb back into bed a few minutes later, and was relieved to find that the older man kept his hands to himself. But as he drifted off he knew that Axel was still watching him. After the younger boy fell into a deep sleep, and he was sure he wouldn't get up again, Axel finally relaxed and let out a large sigh as he fell onto his back, arms behind his head. "Shit." he swore. That had really scared him. He looked over and watched the smaller form of Roxas sleep. It was cute. He decided. His friend breathed slowly, evenly. That alone telling him he was finally asleep. He propped himself up and leaned over and watched for a few minutes as he looked at his friends face. He smiled as he carefully brushed a few stray strands of hair out of the boy's face. When Roxas was asleep- peacefully- and not hogging the blankets or snoring...he looked so...cute. Like a doll. Axel smiled as a funny pang entered his chest and a bubbly warm electric feeling in his stomach flew throughout his body. He leaned back onto his side of the bed. This was turning into one hell of a night...

Rule number nine: No Dreams of Ex-lovers...

Roxas woke up later to the sound of Axel...moaning? He looked up to find Axel once again hugging a pillow comically, a look of bliss on his face.

"Yes...oh godz yes...Demyx...right there! Right _THERE!_"

…...five seconds later it was Axel's turn to almost be smothered to death via a pillow.

Rule number ten: No Morning Breathe...

Roxas woke up to the sound of the alarm going off. He stretched, and used one hand to find the alarm clock and shut it off. He was too tired to just get up out of bed. Axel hadn't even budged.

He smiled as he watched Axel sleep. For the first time since last night his friend looked peaceful. He slowly, unintentionally, he didn't know why he just had to do it, reached over and stroked one of the markings under Axel's eyes. The marks on his friend/mentor's face had always fascinated Roxas. Somehow they just suited him. Axel nuzzled his face into Roxas's hand, startling the boy. He opened his eyes slowly, that mischievous smile on his face once again as he looked up at the blonde. "Good morning." He said as he got up, his bigger hand grabbing Roxas's smaller hand.

"Axel?" Roxas asked, surprised. Axel smirked and leaned in and kissed him. Roxas's eyes were wide open as he felt Axel's lips on his. Axel deepened the kiss and for another two minutes neither said anything as they kissed, until finally Roxas pushed the other away. Axel suddenly realized he might have done the wrong thing. "Should I not have done that? I'm sorry- You can forget about it...please don't hate me Roxas..." Roxas held a hand to his mouth and laughed.

"No...it's not that I _didn't_ like it..." Axel's face immediately brightened, then a confused look replaced the joy. "Then...what did I do wrong?" "Nothing. Nothing. It's just..." Roxas leaned in further until he was just inches away from Axel's face. He whispered, "You have terrible morning breathe, you know?"


End file.
